i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
