You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
