I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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