If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
