So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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