Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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