i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
