one might say we're banned from that church
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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