Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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