what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
