Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
