is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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