In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
