Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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