I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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