Whod you bang
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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