i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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