do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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