I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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