I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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