just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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