U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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