well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
