you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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