im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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