Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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