There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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