I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize