Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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