i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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