remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
