If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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