That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
