i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
