McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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