Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
