Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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