and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
