why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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