I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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