I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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