I wish I could teleport
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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