i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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