worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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