Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
no you cant smoke seaweed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize