I wish you could order shots online.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
