you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
