I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
