Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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