He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have already put on my inside pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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