3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
