You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
