The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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