I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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