Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
