I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
