Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
