i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
