Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
