He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
