party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize