Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
