woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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