Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
