I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize