can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
