dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She announced her abortion via fbk
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
