Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
