how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
