Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
