Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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