I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
