Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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