Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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