Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
